Soul Retrieval

After my third son was born I went through a deep passage of death and re-birth. The post-

partum took me deep into a very dark place. I am sure the circumstances of his birth contributed, as he was born two and a half months early.

I was having serious thoughts of ending my life and knew I needed to ask for help.

I prayed.

A friend told me of a  woman nearby who was a shaman.

When I went to see her the first thing she said to me  that I was not in my body and she was wondering how I was functioning.

That moment changed my life, because I knew what she was saying was true. I sat there weeping , with total humility and asked,” How do I get back in?”

She said,” Be committed to your healing and come weekly and we will begin the healing journey”.

Slowly, as I had support from her and other healers, I began to call back parts of myself that had fled ( to another reality outside of myself), to be loved, nurtured and cared for.

This process is called soul retrieval. At this time in my life a door open for me. The path of shamanism and earth spirituality.

I began to see the unhealthy patterns I was in, besides the abusive marriage and a community I had outgrown. This community also had supported my silence as far as not speaking my truth. I needed to get out of the box!! My soul was longing for the sacred feminine, which I slowly began to see as my souls divine food.

I would like to share my experience with soul retrieval, as it was such a pivital part of my own transformation.

The body never lies. It also is very smart and protective of our essence.

When we experience trauma, in any way, there is a part of our soul that checks out, so not to feel the impact.

When someone experiences  trauma, they can have energy holes in their body. This is called being “fragmented.” You can see it in someones eyes. They are not there.

Where these parts hang out is a very real place I call The Dreamtime. It is a reality or dimension that is unseen, but very real.

The shaman, with the help of their guiding teachers, using the drum or plant spirits, journeys to these places in behalf of a client and finds the soul parts. In this sacred place the shaman ask their teachers to heal the soul parts before they bring them back.

In this reality everything happens quickly. The spirits come with compassion for us, as they know how we humans struggle here on earth . It is like traveling into the darkness, until we find the places the souls are hiding.

When our teachers say the soul parts are ready to come back, we blow them back into the clients body and focus on the light coming back to them. The love of these soul parts, are like lost children who have found their way home. It is so beautiful.

Then we support the client to begin the process of integrating this new energy, by first just allowing the energy to sink down into their bones and cells. To go deep.

Then I support them to connect to each soul part, asking them what do they need to feel loved and safe. It’s all about wanting to be responsible for being here, to be willing to be “seen” and share our gifts with the world.

Everyone is different in how long they take to integrate the soul parts back into their being. It all depends on their own psyche.

I encourage time in nature to just be with the new energy. To have quiet time to allow them to speak what they need, since they have come back home.

It is a powerful time to create new patterns and let go of old ways that no longer serve them.

We also look at stolen souls and curses that may have been put on a person or family. These can all prevent a person from living a healthy life and are energies that are “unseen” but very real.

The land and places where there has been tragedy are places that need soul retrieval also.

Soul Retrieval is a path to transformation.

It is a part of the healing story.

Since my first soul retrieval, I have probably had ten or more as I patched together my life. The shaman path is who I have become. And I am seeing the death and re-birth process  as a part of life.

I have been teaching soul retrieval for fifteen years in my training called The Shaman’s Circle.

I hope this encourages you to explore this powerful healing tool.

And, I am happy to say, it was totally worth it!!

Eleven years ago I was blasted out of Virginia with the split up of a 25 years old marriage and landed in sweet Takoma Park Md. My life was out of control, shredded and I felt I was hanging on by a thin thread.

I never thought I would be a single Mom again ( first son and now the third), but there I was. In my new found spiritual path of Earth spirituality, I was part of a Lodge community and the water pourer was a Sundancer on Rosebud, SD. I found myself going there to support her and she never made it. But I was there with a small group of friends, including my middle son, Parmatma, who was one of the main fire tenders. I ended up massaging one of the elders and when she heard my story she said I HAD to go to the Chief and ask to dance. I really did not think this was possible, but when he heard my husband had left me he knew I needed spiritual help, and said I could dance. I did dance, one day.

That year I began to learn the power of the Pipe, and forgiveness. On the end of that day I felt so much anger releasing from my heart. All the pain I had carried about my husband not loving me and wanting to be with other women. The tears, prayers and support from the holy circle gave me an opportunity for deep, deep healing of my wounded heart.

To Sundance you make a commitment for four years and then you have to show up and be willing to sacrifice and pray for the people. I had been on the dharma path for most of my life but I was not ready for the intensity of this experience.

For the first four days you prepare by doing Lodges and getting your spiritual things ready for the dance. You also help with setting up the camp and whatever else is needed to serve. The day before the dance you go and get the tree. The tree is sacred in the Ceremony as it represents the Tree of Life and is a portal for the spirits to move up from the earth to the heavens. It is the focal point of the dance and we see it as a symbol of the Creator. It is brought into the Sundance grounds with so much respect and love. Then, all the people place their prayer ties on the tree. The sweet smell of tobacco is so powerful!

Then the dancers begin their fasting, as soon as the tree is up. We do not drink or touch water for four days and fast from food ( unless you need to eat something light at night for your health). It is always a personal choice, but whatever you make a commitment to do, you walk it. For all four days we rise at 4am to Lodge and get ready to enter the arbor as the sun rises from the East Gate. This is the Guardian of re-birth. There are so many helpers too. The fire tenders are the bomb!!They are working so hard to keep the fire going all four days, with lots of lodges and smudging.

Then there are the drummers and singers. They keep us dancing and singing. The songs are all prayers and so beautiful. I loved feeling my feet touch the earth and the energy that would come into my being. The songs….it’s hard to describe. They are pure spirit and to this day, pierce my heart.

The first year I was kind of in shock by it all and I have to say, it got me through the year. As the years went by my relationship with my Pipe became so beautiful. All I can say is the dance humbled me. I would be so thirsty, tired and when I would pray for my children or someone back home who were sick I would get the energy to dance.

Every year by the fourth day I would be in such an altered state I felt God’s presence with me every moment. The pipe was always in my left hand feeding my heart. And the tree was there as a reminder of all that is sacred and good. Of all the love that is always available if I only open to it. A few times at the end I had an experience of feeling the oneness of us all. That I was part of a bigger whole. That we are truly all related. I would be smiling through my tears as I sang with the drummers to Tunkashila.

And for some who may not understand this, sometimes I pierced for my relatives. I never thought I would do this but when I was there the spirits told me to. I did it as a spiritual give-away. I felt my prayers were being heard and it made me feel like it would help me get through the year back home and give me strength as a single Mom. It did and more.

At the end of the dance there would always be a big give-away and feast. This was a time of celebration and gratitude. The Lakota people have taught me so much about myself. In the mist of the dance I made two 4 year commitment, fell in love with the only African who danced there ( Tieku, known as Fred), and got adopted by Jean Last Horse. She gave me the name, Tanampe Wakan Wi which means Sacred Hand Woman, for my healing abilities.

After the last dance I knew it was over as I was moving on a different path with my studies with Rinpoche and a reconnection to yoga and meditation. The Pipe and Ceremony continues to be a spiritual way for me. I offer Pipe Ceremonies here as a service to the community and will always teach the ways of the Pipe to anyone who comes with a good heart. The Sundance is a ceremony that occurs in the summer all over the world, but mostly in the US and Canada with the Native tribes.

As a white girl with Irish heritage, I somehow was blessed enough to find a Sundance community that was open to all nations. My gratitude to  the  Sundance ( I am honoring their privacy by not mentioning their names),  for all their give-away and supporting me those eight years. With deepest gratitude, All My Relations

Chapter One: My First Trip To Ireland

When I turned 50 all I knew is that I was walking towards something that was new, fresh and exciting. I had always wanted to go to Ireland and was just waiting for the perfect time, place and folks to go with.

Then, in a Celtic shamanism training I met Andrew. We became friends, ended up teaching together, and was taking a small group on a pilgrimage to the land of my ancestors. I was so excited!!

I have two dear friends who also teach polarity therapy who live in Cork. I wanted to go a week early, visit them and get to see Cork, since this was where my ancestor, John O’Leonard, sailed to American and settled in Easton, Md., during the potato famine.

A few days before I left I had just ended a long love relationship and was really arriving with much pain, and sorrow in my heart.
Interesting, that the day I arrived I started bleeding. It had been the first time in a year. Needless to say, I did not expect this and it was almost like my womb was letting go…was dying.

The last day I was in Cork my friends took me on a lovely ride trough the hills with all the lavender. OMG!! What beauty!I could almost see my ancestors walking the hills.

We came across a grotto of Mary and there was a sign for this special lake below us.

Many years ago a woman had been drowned in the lake. The story went, that she was thought to have been a witch, so they drowned her.
We both knew that at that time, many who were in the healing arts ( herbalist, midwives, etc), where treated this way.For me, being a healer, it felt like we had been guided to this place.

So, we walked down the winding path, between the lavender and the incredibly green of the hills and came upon the most amazing glazier lake.
It was totally still. Deep, with a crystal clear reflection of the sky.

I sat for a long time, thinking of the woman whose life ended here, wondering all the questions about what really happened and what she must have felt like. The betrayal, the terror and the final moment, the last breath.

Then, I started to feel the presence of her.

I stood up, and made an offering of tobacco and lavender. In my silence I simply listened to what she could offer me at the place I was.
She whispered to me….” Rose, this is the Lake of Forgiveness.”

I will never forget her.

I am enclosing some picture of this magical place.

From my heart to yours.